Tuesday, September 07, 2004 Y
Very typical to start a day.. I got to climb down my bed early in the morning for physics to do some practicals.. thought i was late.. haha~ but me and miss cheong reach the school at the same time..erm.. quite lucky~ haha => however, it was a very tedious one.. woa.. damn difficult.. But still got to finish it.. so no choice :( Prelims is coming and i still dunnoe 1A is how many mA?? die.. dead shit! Almost the whole class wonder that too.. haha~ After two long practical, still gto to go to Mr pang's lesson to get back the papers.. A group of us were outside the st john room discussing where to go.. cuz our fnn class and ch class have a clash.. :S jus then, miss hazel come down from the stairs with her old irritating face.. wad a nag!! Even those who were not in her class cannot stand her.. Yeappy!! the fnn class was cancelled but postponed to thurs.. haiz.. but at least better that staying back today until 1pm.. Dragging myself to the ch class with wk and d.. Hehe~ i passed my ss paper but not very good results.. so should i be happy or sad??
I couldn't concentrate... He just keep appearing in my mind non stop.. So i keep thinking of him.. After class, i looked down to the fitness corner and the basketball court.. At the moment, My mind was flooded with our memories in the past.. It jus never disappear.. the worst is, More and more memories pop out while walking to jp with d, wk and xl to meet pj and frenz.. recalling the moments that we used to have.. Tears rolled while listening to ringtones(boa-Waiting, Canon in D, never gotta change my love for u, right here waiting, f.i.r-wo men de ai and many..) It hurts... jus dun have the mood to smile.. :( never stay long at mac with them as they also got to go.. pj was quite mad with d.. b'cos of her hp.. long story... Going home alone as usual.. missed those times when we were together.. :S
My cousin, sean came to my hse.. mum was mad with him cuz he spoiled my mum "processions".. haha~ Stayed in my room for hours.. Listening to Sad songs.. I dunnoe why.. i love to listen to those sad songs when i am down.. especially now.. I tuned into mandy's songs.. realise that most of her songs jus expressed wad i am feeling and thinking.. I found a song which really expressed me when me and him was about to break and jus broke up..
The song is "Quit breaking my heart".. the content goes like this:
You were my first slow dance Thought that we had a chance But together was too hard for you Hanging out with your friends And I accept these things All I need is you to be true
I know you care but it isn't fair When you're not around I want you there
And you need to stop Breaking my heart... Quit breaking my hear It's tearing apart All I need is you to be true Quit breaking my heart It's tearing us apart Baby quit breaking my heart
Baby I don't feel like way about everyone Something about you boy Nothing seems to be quite like this Holding your hand touching my face Standing here waiting for our first kiss I know you care but it's just not fair When you're not around I want you there And you need to stop Breaking my heart Quit breaking my heart It's tearing apart All I need is you to be true Quit breaking my heart It's breaking my heart It's tearing us apart Baby quit breaking my heart
Very tired after lunch, so i took a long nap.. still very tired.. dun feel like doing anything so i listen to ringtones again.. this time round i really cry.. Real breakdown.. Miss those moments very much.. I really miss him.. Erm.. one month never see him le.. wonder if he have already forgotten me.. (?_?) But i stop crying cuz i remember my promise to wait for him no matter wad.. I am willing to wait.. remembered the message he sent me quite recently.. asking to not to slack, concentrate on my studies and work hard.. Hoping that also means that he still cares for me.. no matter if he is caring as an ex- or a friend.. I am already very pleased le.. So i told myself i must study.. also, I will wait for him.. and i cant waste my time jus waiting for him.. So i decided to study well while waiting.. cos i noe if i keep crying.. it will not help to make him back.. also, in the past, he always told me cry wun save the situation.., it is pointless.. cry is only a childish act.. he always want me to be mature.. so i cannot be my childish self anymore le.. rite?? I wan to let him know.. is him.. the one who motivates me to moves on.. the one who change me.. He is the one.. He is really a treasure to me.. Jus means alot to me.. I hope that he will realise how importance he is to me one day..
Hoping to see him online today.. but to my disappointment.. he did online but not in msn.. i guess he is trying to avoid me.. if not he wun be like this.. but no matter wad.. i will still wait.. cos i love him..
Very tired.. Tml got chemistry mock exam.. oh shit!! but i did revise a little jus now.. :) Oh.. i think i got to go and sleep already.. it is getting late.. Good nite to him!!
*Dreaming of u tonight.. Praying that you will be mine.. Hoping you'll be holding me tight.. Never ever letting me go.. I need to to know*.....I love you for always
~Waiting for you~
